A single mother is a superwoman who single-handedly raises and takes care of her children. She is a woman who fulfills the roles and responsibilities of both a mother and a father figure in the lives of her children.
Single mother comes as a result of the death of a spouse, denial of pregnancy, divorce, co-parenting, and any other factor that may contribute to this situation.
Being a single mother comes with so many responsibilities. This leads to frustration, depression, and overthinking.
As we all know, taking care of children is a big responsibility that requires time, energy, strength, and understanding to be able to be a good mother to your children.
As the children grow into adolescents, they begin to exhibit behaviors that require the intervention of a father figure. But in their absence, a single mother steps in to take on that role.
They make sure they train the children to be upright and responsible adults in society as they grow up.
It is very true that most single mothers lose themselves as a result of that. Dedicating their lives and time to make sure that their children are well attended to.
There are many ways to be a successful single mother and still take care of your children. So that you can take care of yourself while still being there for your children.
10 ways To Become A Successful Single Mother.
Here are some steps to help you become a “successful single mother,” which will make your children proud of you and also see you as a supermom.
1. Have a plan for your daily activities:
Having a plan or schedule for your daily activities is very important to keep you on your feet. It helps you know your next step and also helps you utilize your day successfully.
It keeps you busy and directs you to do the right thing at the right time. Many single mothers do not know or have any planned activities, and this makes them overwork their day without achieving any goal within the day.
2. Follow your schedules sequentially:
After having your day scheduled with all the activities you have within the day, make sure you follow them step-by-step.
Know what to do and do it well. Know how to start and start well, and make sure at the end of the day, you achieve at least half of the activities scheduled before you go to bed.
This helps you yield positive and successful work done without any stress.
3. Having something doing (a profession):
Being a single mother doesn’t guarantee idleness. It comes with a whole lot of responsibilities, energy, and resources. As a single mother, you must find practical work that keeps you on your toes. A handy work that makes you want to do more for your children.
You need to think of your needs, your children’s, and how to attain them. Having handy work doesn’t necessarily mean you should get a “well-to-do job,” but rather, you need to get a source of income.
An income that can at least put food on your table, clothe you and your children, and also give you a happy life and home. You can have an online store, be a makeup artist, fashion designer, caterer, food vendor, or open a mini-restaurant, just to mention a few.
This prevents you from being a “liability” to many, and it also allocates respect and honor to your name.
4. Don’t be too extravagant:
There are “needs,” and there are “wants.” Needs are the necessities we cannot do without, like clothes, education, shelter, food, and good health. While wants are the basic things we need to make life comfortable for us, like shoes, watches, cars, having fun, etc.
A single mother needs to know what she needs and wants to help her plan her expenses well. It helps you understand how and when to spend money on things that are not really necessary for survival.
It also encourages you to save more money for the future in order to be prepared for emergencies.
5. Let go of too many parties and outings:
Yes, it is very good to have fun sometimes. At least a little, have some fun, and make memories, but do not go overboard. Most single mothers do not care about their children, hence making them live a lavish life. Overspending and running out of cash.
They make “outing” their priorities forgoing their motherly responsibilities. They do not care how their children are fed or how well they look. Sometimes, they do this out of pain, regret, hate,, or out of their irresponsible lives as mothers.
Single mothers should understand that their children are their responsibilities, so they should give up some activities to spend more time with them.
They should rather set good examples for their children to follow, because a happy child is a healthy one.
6. Spend quality time with your children:
This helps your children become part of your world and also helps them become fond of you as a mother. Make sure you have a mother-child moment with them.
It could be watching TV together, taking a vacation, learning a new skill (DIY), playing games, or telling them stories.
As this keeps going, it becomes a tradition in the family and creates a strong bond between you and your children. This gives them the room to be open to you and discuss any situations they’re facing with you.
They turn to you for advice because you are their best and closest friend. You become their “ATM” mother (All The Time Mother).
7. Tell your children about their father:
Some children are very smart and may want to know anything and everything. These children are constantly on the lookout for new information and will not stop until they find the answers.
It is advisable that every child has the right to know who their father is. So if a child wants to know about their father, do them the honor by telling them without being secretive. Some children may want to know who their father is by all means. Being bold and strong enough to tell them the story pertaining to their father would either make them see how weak or strong you are as a single mother.
Children are very observant, and the more you hide things from them, the more they want to know why you’re hiding it from them. At least you owe them that, as a mother, to help them know their identity.
8. Don’t be an overly protective mother:
It is good to be there as a mother for your children. It is also good to protect them from the diversities of this world. A mother is like an eagle who protects and fights predators from harming her child.
A mother protects her children from harm and gives them strong shoulders to lean on when they are in pain or sorrow.
As the children grow, they begin to seek privacy from their parents, and do not want anyone to invade their space. Most of the time, they prefer to be left alone. This happens mostly in their adolescent stage. Children, as they grow up, want to take on some responsibilities by themselves.
They also want to make some decisions for themselves. Allow them this freedom while ensuring that you are available whenever they require assistance or advice.
Imposing or forcing them to do something they do not want to do causes misunderstandings between you and your children. Maybe you want to prevent them from repeating the same mistake as you did, or you might want them to be careful about certain decisions they make. But don’t be too imposing on them. They are maturing into adults and will eventually live independently.
Allow them to make their own decisions while you provide guidance, but do not use force.
9. Be their number one cheerleader:
Praise and acknowledge your children at all times. Don’t blame them for your failure or hate them for something they do not know about.
Whatever they do, recommend them and let them feel the motherly love from you. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you’re a failure, thereby venting your anger at your children for the slightest things they do.
Always make sure you motivate them and help them when the need arises in any tiny way you can. This makes you a fulfilled and successful single mother as you see them grow to become prominent and responsible adults in society.
They will never forget what a wonderful mother you were to them. And always show your appreciation in whatever they do.
10. Save for the future:
Hard times may come, and difficulties may set in as you raise your children alone. Saving for the future also helps you become a successful single mother.
It reduces your burden by ensuring that you have enough saved for unforeseen circumstances. Saving for the future makes you adequately prepared and ready for what lies ahead of you and your children. It eradicates shame and provides assistance for any emergencies. Saving is extremely important for a single mother because it allows you to provide for your children.
The smiles you put on their faces demonstrate how much they appreciate you and regard you as their supermom. This is due to your consistent ability to meet their needs. It is an honor to be able to care for your children on your own, to watch them grow and achieve their goals as they mature into adults.
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